There are times in each of our lives when we are faced with diversity and challenges that seem to much to carry. That is when one has a huge decision to make: First choice could be to allow the weight to bury yourself in self pity, grief, fear, shame, anger and resentment. Second choice is to life yourself up after you have a full out screaming, crying, stomping episode in the privacy of your own home or in your car, out in the woods (someplace safe where no one will here or see you) then accept what you have been given and move forward with strength, courage, grace and dignity. You will slip sometimes. Cry it out. Find a friend who can listen and one who is not judgmental, but don't burn out that friend. Find a support group and or a counselor and stay with it. There are resources available in very community for help. Call social services in your county and ask for a chronic illness specialist. Ask your Dr. if there are groups or services available to you. If you belong to a church you might ask your pastor or priest or monk for help. Some churches have all sorts of support groups for grief. I even went to a cancer support group and found that lupus and cancer patients face similar issues, if not the same. There may be a respite or retreat close by at a convent or related to a church retreat where they allow anyone to stay for limited charge or free.
I think that once one makes the choice to follow an empowered path all the resources become clear. That is being your own best advocate. No one will do this for you. You can not expect others to understand or be there for you to process 100% of the time, nor can your family or friends expect you to be strong all the time. Having a support outside if your core group of friends-family is best for everyone. So get out there and find those who you can share your deepest feelings and who will offer you real steps in finding peace and empowerment in your life. You may have lupus but lupus does not have you.
Angela Madaras
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